RAW 22/10/12 - Awards 

Haven’t yet seen HIAC (will be doing so today) so please don’t correct me with title changes et al. I’m just posting this because it’s hideously late. The 15/10 episode I lost the notes for so that won’t be up…sorry :(

Top Dog of the Week
Ryback for throwing the spoiled brat Punk around…..it shut him up a bit anyway.

Justin Gabriel, for knocking off the tedious Cesaro….about time somebody did.

Kaitlyn isn’t taking any of Eve’s shit and for once her considerable muscularity is making her seem genuinely threatening to our conniving Divas Champion.


Twatting Twat of the week
Heyman looked a total arse when he showed up to gloat at AJ’s resignation. Even Vince didn’t look impressed.


Weedy Pigeon of the week
Poor AJ….succumbing to the politicising of the old-boys-network and handing her job over to the power-hungry Vickie.

Spin Doctor of the week
John Cena managed to even get a ride home in Vince’s limo in his quest to convince the world he wasn’t chatting up AJ and trying to get his then-boss into bed.

Worst Girl of the week
You just know Vickie is going to thoroughly abuse her power again, just like she did in he previous runs in charge.

Best Line of the week
JR: I wonder how big Sandow is…[Carry On Wrestling….*ooh er Missus*]


CM Punk: I do like your new role here John, by the way, as Ryback’s cheerleader!


Sandow: HOW dare you invite us to take part in this tomfoolery! [Apart from the words, its all in the delivery]

Worst line of the week
Heyman’s whole coming out to stick the boot in to poor AJ. Shitbag.

Warring faction of the week
Eve, Kaitlyn and Layla. Anyone smell a triple threat for Sunday?

AJ and Vickie. Our geek Goddess’ life is going to be hideously uncomfortable from now on.

Sight of the week
Rey Mysterio opening the show…in a match.

Sandow doing the Cody knee drop, and then taking a bow afterwards. A fine performance from this refined gentleman.

Miz looking about as friendly and chatty as a malnourished piranha on commentary.

A furious and humiliated AJ launching onto Vickie like a battering ram. 

A backstage ladies brawl! Not seen one of those in a fair while.

Dolph and DB took some great falls in their match….Dolph flying over the ringpost was one, the super X-Factor was another..

THe lumberjacks….hello Mason Ryan, didn’t know you were still employed!

Tyson…..he’s just not a hat man is he?

Big Show looking mightily pleased with himself after chokeslamming Sheamus.

Ryback demonstrating every power move on Punk with help from the lumberjacks.


WWE Miracles and Mysteries
Justin knocking off the tedious Cesaro….about time somebody did.

What’s with all the random job titles Vickie gets? First she was ‘Executive Consultant’ on Smackdown, now she’s ‘Managing Supervisor’….just give her the GM job already.

Who’s Matt Striker upset….every week he seems to get humiliated in some way.

Justin Roberts really stuck the boot in to Miz by emphasising ‘Former Intercontinental Champion’ on his entrance….wonder what happened there then?

So Kaitlyn got attacked by Aksana….anybody else catch that?

AJ and John had a ‘business dinner’? When?



RAW 9/10/12 - Awards 

Top Dog of the Week
It’s pretty much standard when he turns up, but the great Vincent McMahon used his power for good this time and tore several strips off the whiny brat calling himself the champion. Sure he got a major beating as to be expected but considering in Britian Vince is now eligible for a bus pass, his stamina is not to be sniffed at.

Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow continue to steal the show week after week with their combined intellectual snobbery and Cody’s cheesy cheerleading…a match made in heaven.

Twatting Twat of the week
Layla “Too Good to be True” El who despite having her title taken from her and her friend injured by Eve, still is not delivering the huge beatdown to the smug ‘Executive Champ’ we’re hoping for her to do. This is the same woman who terrorised the entire ladies’ roster from 2009 to 2011 with her sidekick McCool. Looks like she’s gone soft.

Larry King for that pointless segment that added nothing to the show.


Weedy Pigeon of the week
Kaitlyn finally got her title match but once again fell foul to the devious wiles of Eve…..and nursing a still-painful ankle to boot. 

Strangely, Miz gets it for being humiliated on his birthday.

Spin Doctor of the week
Vince was back to his politicising best, getting on everyone’s side by taking on the champ in the main event, but still found time to humiliate Jim Ross before the match as he always seems to do.

Worst Girl of the week
CM Punk continues to make everybody’s blood boil and how he can still fit through doorways with his bloody big head is a mystery to this recapper.

Best Line of the week
John Cena: I noticed he (Antonio Cesaro) has abnormally large nipples!


Vince McMahon: First of all that’s an ugly T-shirt.


Damien Sandow: We have the mouth-breathing, bottom-feeding….[Codfishes are bottom-feeders…just putting that out there]


Kane: THAT was Larry King? I thought it was Skeletor!


Worst line of the week
John Cena: AJ I’d like to take you on a date…[Schmoozing your boss….not a good look!]

CM Punk: I AM THE WHEEL! [Judge Dredd he ain’t]

In fact his whole teenage stroppy rant about “respect, wah wah”……..

Paul Heyman: Do you want Punk to do to you what, Brock Lesnar did to your son in law Triple H? [Watch your gob]


Warring faction of the week
Vince and Punk. Not quite Vince and Austin. Yet.

Sight of the week
Plenty to feast our eyes on this week:

JR AND JBL on commentary this week! Cup runneth over…

Ryback and Cena exchanging a glower up the ramp.

Vince’s power walk looks more and more comical every time he appears.

Hello to Punk’s Rent-A-Tent shorts, how nice to see you again.

Punk’s smack to Vince’s kisser was enough to knock a horse out.

Rey Mysterio waving a hankie in his entrance….oh it was a mask.

England vs. Ireland…..two British brawlers really goin’ up and at ‘em.

Big Show smirking as Tensai and Wade laid the Smacketh down on Sheamus.

Dolph doin the booty-shake neckbreaker…..Mr Gay Fanservice indeed.

Del Rio taking one hell of a fall outside……and DB stumbling onto his bottom.

The whole JR/Vince backstage segment…..I couldn’t watch.

Miz getting water in the mush…and a major beatdown from Kofi Kingston….Happy Birthday duckfaced one.

Coddles is LOVING being Sandows tag partner….check out their little dance leading to the cartwheel!

Vince is still in very fine fettle for a man in his mid-60s…..that physique is still pretty solid.

Kaitlyn really taking to Eve in the early goings, including the use of the Torture Rack…..

That nasty leg-lock by Eve really looked painful.

Layla staring Eve down as only a true London girl can.

Paul Heyman’s rapidly-thinning hair….he still looks like he’d put his hand up girl’s skirts on buses though.

Vince flying over the announcer’s table like a pterodactyl and going afrter him with a mic.


WWE Miracles & Mysteries
Seems like the tag team division have become jobbers to the big men this week.

What exactly was going on with Truth and Brodus, apart from being uncomfortable to watch for anyone over the age of 7.

We get Vince was about this week, but it is still Ms. Lee’s show. So where was the manager?

Does Punk genuinely know when to actually put a sock in it, or is he just an idiot? Accepting a match challenge from Vinny-Mac always ends in tears.

How nobody else has realised DB is becoming Uncle Albert from Only Fools and Horses.

Where’s Doctor Shelby? Last seen being puked on for his troubles..

Now that talentless Barbie doll is no longer there, the women’s matches are getting more intense with every week going by…



RAW 24/9/12 - Awards 

Top Dog of the Week
Mae Young. Sometimes just fifteen seconds is all it takes to make an episode and the gorgeous grandmother of grappling did just that with her show-stealing line.

AJ realised that Heyman was trying to stitch her up like a kipper and walloping the ponytailed slimebag had me holding up a perfect 10. She might be several cans short of a six-pack but she’s got the parasite’s number allright.

Kiddies’ favourite John Cena gets a mention for delivering a literal pipebomb to whiny shit Punk.

Twatting Twat of the Week
Paul Heyman for thinking he can mess with AJ. His beatdown in an LBD-n-stiletto-clad Stephanie clearly taught him nothing.

Weedy Pigeon of the Week
Beth Phoenix. Made a scapegoat by the conniving Eve.


Spin Doctor of the Week
Eve Torries again. She managed to deflect all the blame for attacking Kaitlyn by picking a blonde-haired partner whom she then promptly turned on. 


Worst Girl of the Week
Punk is getting more and more big-headed and big mouthed as the weeks drag on. Anyone is fair game - legends, officials, his boss….he certainly has a weird idea of what respect entails.


Best Line of the Week
AJ: [To Heyman]: Who the hell do you think you are? [At last! Some authority!]


AJ: I will see to it personally that you will never work in this business again. [Power looks great on her even when she was on the edge]


Mick Foley: Will you be a Kool-Aid drinker?


Mick Foley: Not one day in 14 years have I had to ASK people for respect…!


Ryback [when pinning Miz] Go swim with the fish! [Yeah, the Codfish….]


DB: YES! YEEEEEESS! YEEEEEESSSS!!!! [complete with panting…..]
Mae Young: I’ll have what they’re having! 


Kane [while DB vomits copiouly in Dr Shelby’s lap] Check please!


John Cena: I did everything I could to keep that PG tonight.


CM Punk: Because you get countless title shot after title shot, and it’s unfair to those guys in the back. [Even the spoilt brat can speak sense sometimes]


John Cena: REAL MEN WEAR PINK!


Worst Line of the Week
Brad Maddox’s grovelling speech to Heyman and PUnk. Grow some bollocks, man!

Punk and his spoilt-brat, bully-boy attitude was runneth over this week:


CM Punk: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU FEEL! You embarrassed the WWE CHampion on MY SHOW. [Put a sock in it.]


CM Punk: You’re the buffoon who got hired by the idiotic General Manager?


CM Punk: I will forget the 1000s of texts and emails that are unsuitable for the USA Network to air….


CM Punk: I am the reason there is a skip in your walk.


CM Punk: SHOW SOME RESPECT YOU JERKS!


CM Punk: COME OUT HERE, I’ll give you a microphone and shove it down your throat.


CM Punk [to Mick FOley]: YOU are beneath me. [Surprise you can fit through doorways with your big head]


Paul Heyman: MARRY ME AJ! [I know she looks young for her age, but she’s too old for you.]


Paul Heyman: I like ‘em young, dumb and ambitious! [Pass the bucket]


Warring Faction of the Week
CM Punk and anyone not named Paul Heyman.


Sight of the Week
An abrupt opening…Punk sat in the centre of the ring, pouting like a spoilt teenage girl, Heyman speaking on his behalf.

AJ sporting the Converse All-Stars look this week….mind you her getup this week made her look like a St. Trinian’s girl.

Heyman gettng down on one knee to ‘propose’…..and then receiving a boot to the greasy head for talking down to the GM.

Jim Ross on commentary!

Vickie getting lemonade chucked in her face. She was not happy.

Kofi going for a rope-flip and landing on his feet.

Kane in an apron as DB and Dr Shelby’s WAITER?? 

The old lady who discovered that the croutons on her Caesar salad weren’t bread…

Mick Foley is always a nice surprise.

DB and Kane discussing their reign over lunch. Didn’t know Kane was partial to Spaghetti ad Meatballs.

DB having a Harry met Sally moment…complete with Mae Young to deliver the coup de grace.

Ricardo was having a right old go wasn’t he?

DB tentatively nibbling a meatball…….and then puking on Dr. Shelby.

A wild Coddles appeared!

Damien Sandow sporting his new merchandise tee.

Kaitlyn hobbling out..

Beth looking decidedly shifty throughout the whole match.

John Cena clobbering Punk with a lead pipe……I know it’s the kiddie’s favourite but you can’t deny the whiny brat had it coming!

Punk booting Mick Foley like the cowardly little shit he is, only to be confronted by a seething Ryback and promptly cacking a load in his trunks….and thereith ended the show.


WWE Miracles and Mysteries
Why is Heyman picking off referees? Last week Chad Patton, this week Brad Maddox. Is Charles “The hair” Robinson up for the treatment next week then?

Why it was necessary to show the picture of Jerry Lawler being resuscitated. It wasn’t acted so it was in bad taste in my opinion. 

Ricardo’s certainly grown a pair since his last in ring bout where he got his arse kicked by both Layla and Santino. Now he’s getting stuck in there with veteran luchadors and the brutal Sheamus. 

What’s going on with the ladies? Layla teaming with someone she beat up twice…..Beth teaming with the woman who beat her last week…also if Kaitlyn’s attacker was blonde, why was she addressing Eve?



RAW 1/10/12 - Awards 

Top Dog of the Week
AJ Lee. Let’s face it, she’s one cool woman and has completely gotten the best of Punk, Heyman and Vickie…if she’s done all this in one episode, whilst on probation what will she be able to do next week??

Damien Sandow for his heroic effort against the Irish Cena, Sheamus. Genuinely thought he’d knocked off the WHC but alas.

Cesaro deserves a nod for being able to LIFT Brodus off his feet…wow.


Twatting Twat of the Week
Cody acting like Sandow’s cheerleader just made him look a prize prat and didn’t help Damien in anyway and all it got Cody himself was a kick to the bonce.

Wade Barrett might come to regret mouthing off to his boss despite being twice her size in the coming weeks…

Weedy Pigeon of the Week
Beth Phoenix again. Despite easily taking the Smackdown Top DOg for her awesome bout with Natalya, she suffered at the hands of a particularly vindictive Eve tonight…the smack of her head aginst the external matting sounded particularly painful.

Spin Doctor of the Week
AJ, for her seemingly heartfelt speech to old pal Kaitlyn…..only to howl with derisive laughter in her face a minute later.

Worst Girl of the Week
Punk, surprise surprise. The man really is like a teenager with an attitude problem and it seems that you don’t actually need to have anything to do with him to warrant his rage.

Best Line of the Week
DB: I AM HANDSOME!!


DB: I HAVE A GREAT BEARD!


Kane (on AJ): She is one hell of a kisser.


AJ: STOP IT! STOP IT! [high pitched girley squeal] STOP ITT!! [Someone needs to see Dr Shelby..]


Kaitlyn [after AJ has skipped away, laughing maniacally]: What are you?


Big Show: I smell FANTASTIC!


Cody Rhodes: Can you BELIEVE that ‘debate’? [You and me both]


Eve Torres: Did you SEE the match between Beth and Natalya on Smackdown Friday night? [This lady’s got brass neck, but hear hear!]


JR: So this is the bottom line….


Worst Line of the Week
CM Punk: Like a real man should, I kick him like the dog he is.

Drew McIntyre: Ah’m Still the chorsen one? [Really? Are you?]

CM Punk: SAY IT! SAY IT! [Please put a sock in it]


Warring Faction of the Week
JR and Punk.

Ryback and Punk…Tensai was just a mere annoyance to him.

Sight of the Week
For a straight-edge guy, Punk is looking more and more like a teenage stoner each week.

Dolph in another new shirt….”Stealing the show and your girlfriend.”

AJ looked like she meant business tonight.

DB twiddling his moustache like Dick Dastardly.

Punk and DOlph mimicking Kane and DB with the title and case respectively.

Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio looked like the American flag had thrown up all over them in their matching outfits.

Double aerial attacks from the luchadors….

Cesaro LIFTING Brodus Clay off the ground to do his Neutraliser…..that’s a 350 pound man…..respect earned, not given.

AJ and Kaitlyn chatting backstage (nice pink socks BTW)……before AJ’s head went pop.

Miz’s new shirt stating “Haters <3 Me” and his looks of pure disdain at Zack (Also wearing new clothes). 

Sandow gracefully flying over the security wall.

Sandow flopping off the apron like a 10 kilo sack of spuds.

Punk stomping on JR’s Stetson like a spoiled child.

AJ as special referee…..ordering out professional irritants Heyman and Vickie.


WWE Miracles & Mysteries
So Miz decided that ‘Miz TV’ was a bad idea then?

Does a big mouth like Damien Sandow really need his cheerleader (Coddles) out there with him?

Michael Cole ‘appreciating’ JR………the same man who used to call the legend a “fat tub of goo” frequently last year….

Jim Ross Appreciation Night had nothing to do with PUnk, so why didnt he just naff off?

Can anyone shut Punk up or is he just going to gob off at anyone he chooses for evermore? 

How anyone could not shit their pants after finding out the referee is their boss?



RAW 17/9/12 - Awards 

First of all, I am SO sorry these are late. I know it’s Tuesday but this is LAST week’s Raw. This week’s awards will be up hopefully sooner than these were.

Top Dog of the Week
It has to be the wonderful John Bradshaw Layfield, who more than sufficed as a good stand-in for the indisposed Jerry Lawler, both at Night Of Champions and for tonight,  especially with his comments about the women.

Dolph for echoing the thoughts of others when he was pitted against Santino.


Twatting Twat of the week
Miz’s chat show went down like a lead balloon and he looked a prize arse in the process.

Punk is making it harder and harder to like and respect him, he just looks a spoiled brat now.

Brad Maddox (the pretty referee who called the main event). You’re doomed, you don’t mess with Punk, especially the way he’s been behaving recently.

Weedy Pigeon of the week
Beth Phoenix folded so quickly when Eve beat her. I think it’s obvious that she’s on her way out.

Spin Doctor of the week
Well, last night we proved that Eve is a manipulative cow and she’s certainly forgotten to kiss Layla’s arse now she’s taken the title smartly away from her. Or is she?

Layla was very quick to point the finger at Eve and didn’t seem altogether concerned for her friend Kaitlyn, so is SHE the Spin Doctor?

Worst Girl of the week
Punk is fast becoming a bully with major Little Man Syndrome, the way he was chasing Brad Maddox up the ramp at the end just smacked of schoolyard capers.

Best Line of the week

John Cena: Paul Heyman I actually agree with you. 

John Cena: I think I owe that series of ‘Nos’ to Daniel Bryan.

Dolph Ziggler: I’M TOO DAMN GOOD FOR THIS!

Dolph Ziggler: You’re a joke!

Damien Sandow: Mr Ross, Slobber-Knocker is not a word.


Worst line of the week
Miz: None of them [Edge, Hot Rod, Christian etc] were as contraversial as me! [Errr……..Edge’s “live sex celebration” anyone??]


Warring faction of the week
Punk and pretty much anyone who doesn’t think his way at the moment.

Layla and Eve. Something fishy is going on between those two…..hold your dirty innuendos please.

Sight of the week
Cult Of Personality’ blasting through to reveal Heyman. 


The middle ropes still pink, denoting the support of cancer charities. 


John Cena’s new tron. A smack of pink right between the eyes. 


It debuted the previous night but John’s hat. He’s just not a fellow who can pull off pink is he?


Cena’s troll-smile when the predictable “Cena sucks” chants started up.



AJ’s choice of executive garb tonight made her look alarmingly like an on-edge schoolgirl.


A non-kayfabe moment, an emotional Michael Cole’s “Long Live The King” T-shirt. What a lovely show of respect. And his Tout was a lovely sight. His stand-in, JBL, more than proved his worth at NOC and is back again for Raw….along with JR!! 


Eve rubbing Layla’s nose in it and having the audacity to ask Beth for a handshake.


Miz’s face when Ryback showed up….talk about cacking a load in your designer boxers!


Ryback lifting a fucking SOFA above his head to lob it at Miz.


Vickie’s magnificent bosom in that top. Me Gusta.


Damien Sandow rolling up in crushed velvet attire. Only the finest materials for Mr. Sandow will do.


Punk’s shabby grey hoodie. He shouldn’t look good in it. But he does. At least he’s not teaming it with his Rent-A-Tent shorts.


Punk puttin Sheamus in the bow-and-arrow lock.

WWE Miracles and Mysteries
Chad Patton….that’s twice he’s been dragged up in the main event scene this year. Is he plotting to debut as an in-ring competitor then?


While it’s great that Eve got a villain chaint, how is taking out a woman acting like a ‘hoeski’?



Has nobody else realised ‘Miz TV’ is just the slick-haired duckface-puller’s version of the ‘Cutting Edge’, ‘Peep Show’, ‘Piper’s Pit’, ‘Highlight Reel’ et al. 


Who deemed it necessary to waste Dolph against Santino?


I’m sure Orton’s match against Tensai was epic for the girlies and kiddies but I was too busy dozing off.


RAW 10/9/12 - Awards 

Top Dog of the Week
DB and Kane finally looked like they settled their differences and now it’s paid off with a shot at the penny belts at Night Of Champions.

Strangely, John Cena gets a mention for being honest about how second-rate he’s made Punk’s reign.

Twatting Twat of the Week
CM Punk is getting far too big for his boots these days and really came off a spoiled brat with a big head this week.

Booker T made AJ look a total twat on her own show.

Layla and Kaitlyn for not realising that Eve is clearly trolling them.

Alicia Fox….since when did you consider the Divas of Doom your mates after they tortured you constantly…..I guess that boot to the head from Layla on Smackdown the other week has affected her.

Weedy Pigeon of the Week
Poor Miz, not only was he once again on the losing team in the tag match, he helps  new mate Coddles out in his match, only to get a Cross-Rhodes for his troubles.

Spin Doctor of the Week
Eve Torres is clearly planning to involve herself in the Divas title match, and the champ and contender seem to be allowing her in more and more.

Worst Girl of the Week
Punk has no respect for anyone or anything nowadays and literally throws a huge tantrum if he can’t get his own way.

Best Line of the Week
CM Punk: It absolutely kills me to know you still refer to yourself as that.

CM Punk: You could even call yourself King Of Memphis..it may not be real….right Jerry?

CMP: Did you ask John Cena to be your white knight tonight?

Sheamus: If you’re Lipschitz, what does your arse do?

CM Punk: I’m a Paul Heyman guy.

D-Young: And that non-dancer Rosa Mendes [Purely for his camp little dance as he said it!]

Dr. Shelby: GUYS! How about we call it Team Friendship?
DB & Kane [in unison]: NO!!

Cody Rhodes [picking up the Intercontinental title]; MINE! MY BABY!

John Cena: 300 Days you’ve been champion, and every one of those 300 days you’ve been irrelevant. Main event, main event, main event constantly passing you by. 


Worst Line of the Week
Punk: The GREATEST WWE CHAMPION OF ALL TIME! [He sounded alarmingly like Miz there]


Warring Faction of the Week
Punk and John. 
Miz and Coddles. Sorry Cody-Miz shippers, the fling is over.
Sight of the Week
Bret Hart! Who wasn’t expecting him to feature in the Montreal show?
Punk turning up to a cacphony of boos yet sporting the colours of the Hart Foundation…
Kofi launching himself at Antonio and Miz.
Aksana lolling all over the apron like a Max Power girl.
Beth! Nice to see you back.
Kaitlyn looked like she was ready to go for a swim in that black outfit.
Layla’s expression mirrored mine when Eve stole the win and celebrated like she’d just won the EuroMillions…in fact it was almost maniacal.
AJ calm, collected but in turmoil still.
Punk mimicking AJ like a pissed-off teen.
Paul Heyman turning up sans Brock and still looking like he belongs on a register.
Punk and Heyman having a chin-wag about restaurants etc at ringside, oblvious to the match and an incensed Vickie.
Tyson! Nice to see you too.
Tyson putting Bertie into the Sharpshooter to a rousing cheer.
Otunga is getting eerily close to becoming a darker hued Scott Steiner with those flexy poses in his entrance.
Coddles thanking Miz for helping him win with a Cross Rhodes….is he going to the good side? Or has Miz?
Punk and John-Boy…if looks could have killed….plus Bret looked like he was enjoying it way too much.
Bret clobbering Punk with a right hand that could have Big Show cheering.

WWE Miracles and Mysteries
Every year Hitman somehow manages to end up tangled in at least one major rivalry even if he was nothing to do with the persons scrapping beforehand. 
When did Alicia become a friend of Divas of Doom? Just last week she was fighting with Natalya via Tout.
AJ Lee managed to come down and restore order between the arrogant Punk, anger-management-issue-suffering-Orton, the fierce Dolph, and the old-school, fuming Lawler? Yet last week, she couldn’t handle Vickie Guerrero? Maybe this was why we didn’t see this happen.
Anyone else think Dr. Shelby is just a little creepy?
So is Joshy pursuing his quest to sue the WWE still then..?
The fans booed Punk but also booed his opponent John Cena? Fickle city, Montreal.


RAW 3/9/12 - Awards 

Late submissions for the awards this week…

Top Dog of the Week
Surprisingly, Miz takes the gold this week because his commentary was breath of fresh air compared to the perpetually-bored Jerry Lawler.

Kane and DB for taking part in the biggest ‘WTF’ moment

Twatting Twat of the week
AJ- not only was she as wet as the Thames in her confrontation with Vickie, and with about as much managerial authority as the cleaning lady, she has a massive nervous breakdown in front of her audience on her own show. This is what happens when lunatics run the asylum.


Weedy Pigeon of the week
Matt Striker. Over the years he has been demoted from in-ring competitor, to commentator, to backstage  butt-monkey….now his boss doesn’t even know his name.

Spin Doctor of the week
Punk. From kicking old men for sport in steel cages, to walking out of the main event, via aligning with professional parasite Paul Heyman. Just what is he up to?

Worst Girl of the week
Vickie Guerrero is edging closer to the power-crazed bitch that she was in late 2010-early 2011, and totally made an arse out of AJ.

Whoever selected the Slater/Ryder snore-fest.

But it still has to be Punk because the recap of his beatdown of Lawler did look like an ‘Abuse of the elderly’ advert.

Best Line of the week
CM Punk: WIth this comes a pecking order, and you are beneath me.

Miz: And much better than Lawler [Hate to say it but he is - at least he doesn’t sound wooden or bored]

DB: Teacher’s pet!

AJ: [to Matt Striker] Who are you?

Layla [sarky]: Great joke Miz, Good job! [come a long way since Extreme Expose then! Their whole argument was filled with comedy gold]

DB & Kane [in unison]: SHUT UP HAROLD!

Swagger: I’m better than this.

Worst line of the week
None this week.

Warring faction of the week
Punk and everyone.

AJ and Vickie.

DB and his anger management/Kane. Oh so much. Nice hugging by the way, guys.

Sight of the week
Opening the show with a huge beatdown between Lawler and Punk…..wow..

Dolph doing the ‘Rikishi arse slap’.

Dolph’s sick jumping DDT on Randal.

Miz on commentary…..a little unexpected.

Kane making the bin go BOOOM….[and corpsing at DB]

LAYLA on commentary :D With a #LOL dress on…gotta love her.

The slightly un-nerved collective expressions on DB and Kane’s faces when Dr. Shelby flipped his lid at them….

Vickie shouting at a chair.

The staredown between AJ and Vickie - I could really feel the tension.

AJ suffering what looked like a total nervous breakdown in the ring….chucking steel chairs and everthing.

Bertie getting tossed about like a rag doll, with a nasty sounding SMACK onto those plastic cases.

Punk re-appearing to cause the loss, before lobbing John Cena onto the nose of his 300C.

The driver’s window opening to reveal Paul Heyman..


WWE Miracles & Mysteries
Who really didn’t think that Punk wouldn’t walk out or do some other contraversial act? He’s basically HBIC now.

Of all the opponents out there to face Sheamus…..Swagger? Still, at least he actually got a bump up to normal entrance rather than jobber entrance.

I never thought I’d ever see the day when Kane HUGS somebody…



RAW 27/8/12 - Awards 

Top Dog of the Week
AJ. Someone had to shut Vickie up at last, even if she was basically voicing WWE’s disdain for their female performers, may as well be the boss.

Triple H for that teary speech thanking the fans.

Twatting Twat of the week
Layla - Ideal opportunity to become woman of the moment by delivering a Bombshell boot to Vickie’s head to shut her up….and she didn’t! WHY?


Weedy Pigeon of the week
Jerry Lawler had brass neck to take on a spiteful Punk but did he really think he could beat the Best Wrestler In The World in a brutal cage despite being 30 years older?


Spin Doctor of the week
Surprisingly, R Truth for his seemingly weird and random Lil Jimmy routine which was really a ploy to whip DB up into losing his rag again. 


Worst Girl of the week
Whomever decided it was great to have Vickie be the new person to bury Diva matches.

But it has to be Punk. He was cruel, vindictive and merciless in his treatment of Lawler, who despite his accolades is approaching OAP age so it was uncomfortable to watch.


Best Line of the week
Punk’s “Reason You Suck” speech to King had such smark appeal and such Fridge Briliance that it couldn’t not make this regardless. Everything he said I agreed with.

DB[to a kid wearing a goat mask]: I’m not a Goat-face, I AM HANDSOME!

Michael Cole: Why are so many people talking to a sock around here?

Kane’s entire confession at the anger therapy. Purely for referencing Katie Vick and for his deadpan delivery.


Worst line of the week
Michael Cole: Jack Swagger’s career has not been rolling of late.[Ya don’t say??]

Vickie Guerrero: THIS MATCH NEEDS TO BE OVER VERY QUICKLY! [Voice of the smarks/HHH]


Warring faction of the week 
Lawler and Punk blew everyone else’s little skirmishes into the dust.

Kane and Joshy? In fact, Kane and everyone.

Sight of the week
Liking Punk’s short new cut.

Hey Swagger, nice to see you again.

Layla v. Natalya, Round 2 from Superstars! Both ladies looked amazing and put on a great match.

Layla fixing former ally Vickie with a glower that could curdle milk.

AJ beating the shit out of Vickie! Talk about an unsafe workplace!

Lawler talking into a microphone with someones spat out chong [chewing gum] stuck to it.

The return of Miz’s red clothes.

Joshy on commentary *swoon*….and looking a little uneasy.

THe snap DDT from Miz on Cena would certainly have approval from Maryse…!

Coddles and Sandow teaming it up….have to say I dig them as a team.

Kane in anger therapy!

DB taking deep breaths en route to the ring and ‘fistbumping’ the imaginary Lil Jimmy.

Joshy running terrified from Kane :’( Awwwwwww….come to me Joshy I’ll protect you!

Kane calmly sitting down, slipping on the headset and saying naff-all.

Lawler really clobbering Punk once he found his momentum, leaving our champ cut up and oozing claret all over the canvas.

Punk beating the absolute crap out of Lawler, so much so that it felt like an abuse of elders public information film.


WWE Miracles and Mysteries
How Punk could forget to remind King of the only time he shows excitement is when Kelly Kelly appears?

Another week on Raw, another women’s match over 30 seconds. Our cups runneth over.

Not strictly in-kayfabe this one, but, why can’t WWE just accept that people like to watch the women wrestle too? Now they’re getting a regular slot on the 3 hour format, they can’t just let it happen, they have to find some way to make a joke out of it. Took all the focus away from how great Layla and Natalya looked in the ring.

Another thing our cup runneth over with this week  - Triple H.

Was Triple H truly saying goodbye, or has he got one more trick up his sleeve?

What exactly is Punk’s problem? Talk about a chip on his shoulder.




RAW 20/8/12 - Awards 

Sorry it’s been so late this week!

Top Dog of the Week
Respect to HBK. For someone known to be obsessive and selfish, his tearful praise of Hunter brought a tear or two to my eye.

Kaitlyn for finally getting a title shot, even if her new best friend didn’t seem too happy about it.

Twatting Twat of the Week
CM Punk. He really is just behaving like a spoilt teenager now.

David Otunga never learns, does he?

AJ. For deeming it necessary to pit Bertie against Bore-ton for the umpteenthtime. Yawn.


Weedy Pigeon of the Week
Jerry Lawler. Not only did he not have his golden girl to fap over during the battle royal, he got a punt to the bonce for saying the wrong thing once too often.

Not exactly a slobberknocker of a return for Otunga really, was it?

Spin Doctor of the Week
Kaitlyn certainly put no price on friendship this week - her old BFF is her boss, her new BFF is soon to be her rival.

Worst Girl of the Week
John Cena. For baving the audacity to bitch that 9 months is too long without being WWE Champion. For the 12th time.

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar. Just in general.

Best Line of the Week
Paul Heyman’s opening speech. He is a professional parasite but his quick wit and smart mouth are unparalleled.

Shawn Michaels: Hunter I want you to know this. You have nothing to be ashamed of. [Awww :’(]

CM Punk [on fans stopping him in airports]: They say “How come you’re taking a back seat to John Cena?” [THIS]


Worst Line of the Week
Ryback: FInish it. [Please do]

Sheamus: I think Randy Orton is the greatest superstar to have ever been in the WWE.

Strangely, Punk gets this for his whiny, bratty, divaish demands King in the final segment. 

Soccer Moms and Kids: Cena! Cena! Cena!

John Cena: I haven’t been WWE Champion in 9 months [And hasn’t it been fantastic?]


Warring Faction of the Week
Punk and Lawler.

Dolph and Jericho….and it ended in tears just like we all knew it would.

Layla and Kaitlyn? Layla was not happy…that was definitely snarky applause from my little tea-and-crumpets there.



Sight of the Week
Sin Cara using a ‘normal’ offensive move to pin Coddles (the jackknife/Pin With Bridge)

Coddles doing his ‘sad face’ when he lost…he looked like someone had pinched his ice-cream.

Bowtunga is back! Not sure whether I prefer him with or without the goatee.

AJ’s expression whenever someone uses the word ‘crazy’…..Otunga you’re DOOMED!!

A wild Jinder appears….causing the big fellow his first loss and locking him in the Camel Clutch….not for long though.

Randy doing the CM Punk arm-trap neckbreaker.

Cameron doing the ‘Maryse hand flip’ to Sandow….her spirit will always live on!

Miz doing his usual ‘screw over my partner’ routine.

Kane going on the rampage, chokeslamming and Tombstoning his PARTNER Zack….as well as attacking the timekeeper.

Layla looked genuinely miffed at her new BFF Kaitlyn being her NOC opponent. 

The return of the Rent-A-Tent shorts of CM Punk, which still look dangerously like they’d carry him off in a breeze.

Punk’s boot to Lawler’s head….well that was a shocker.


WWE Miracles and Mysteries
Why someone felt the need to change Ryback’s theme. And why he’s once again doing the two-local-twink squash thing.

AJ’s certainly upping the stakes tonight! Lord Sugar better start quaking if this lady continues her merry way. Though I bet he wouldn’t be able to skip as beautifully as our GM.

If Damien Sandow really wanted to be an ‘intellectual saviour’ then why is he a professional wrestler? A form of sport/entertainment usually considered ‘low-brow’?

Who didn’t expect Kane to flip his shit and attack Zack?

Where were Kelly Kelly and Beth Phoenix? Both girls advertised prominently in the pre-match picture too.



RAW 6/8/12 - Awards 

Top Dog of the Week
AJ Lee is vulnerable to mind games from the men, both goodies and baddies [check out Cena’s attempt to slime her amongst others] but she is keeping them all in line like a pro. This Geek Goddess is your boss boys, get with the programme or she’ll own your arse.

Sheamus was pretty inspired, nicking the Ferrari and taking it ound town before handing it back to ‘Bertie’ looking like Onslow’s Cortina.


Twatting Twat of the Week
You knew it was coming - Kelly sodding Kelly. Instead of seeing the Divas Champion, oh no, Lawler’s favourite Barbie doll gets the prime spot this week. The flipside is at least we got a women’s match rather than four recaps of Triple H this week.

CM Punk. Spent too long gobbing off to Cole and Lawler and then walked right into a WMD punch, looking a prize prat in the process.

I hate to say it but HBK. I knew exactly why he was on the show, as a prop for the tedious Hunter/Lesnar stuff. With more comebacks than the Quo this past year and a bit, he’s in serious danger of becoming as boring to see as Hacksaw.

Weedy Pigeon of the Week
Christian - ‘jobbers entrance’ and forced to tap to the Armbreaker. Welcome to the gates of midcard hell, Captain Charisma.

DB is definitely *this* close to going over the edge. He was cracking during his match and as for that interview with certifiable HOTTIE Matt Striker…

Spin Doctor of the Week
Chris Jericho. Turning up dressed as Dolph, being the only one out of three to even mention Riley’s name the whole match, and plugging Tout to boot, all this to ensure Riley got his first Raw win since around August 2011.

Kelly Kelly did the impossible and managed to get the unforgiving fans interested in a women’s match. When you have the likes of Natalya, Beth and our champ Layla who struggle to do this despite being far, far superior wrestlers, this is pretty impressive.

Worst Girl of the Week
Damien Sandow. The only thing he didn’t do was throw Joshy into the wall for good measure.

Best Line of the Week
Jerry Lawler [On Punk]: His attitude is a bit funky if you ask me! [Speak sense more often King]

Sign: Need more Layla. [AND SO SAY ALL OF US!]

AJ: What did you just call me? [Never seen Alberto quake in his Gucci loafers before]

Jericho’s whole stint on commentary, including recording Touts and just generally being awesome


Worst Line of the Week
CM Punk: How about we just cancel the Triple Threat match at Summerslam? [I hate people who patronise]

John Cena [To AJ]: By the way, you smell great. I’m John, John Cena. [Pass. The. Bucket.]

Warring Faction of the Week
AJ and DB. Hell hath no fury like a Goatface scorned.

Sheamus and Bertie. Bertie and Ricardo showed signs of trouble too.


Sight of the Week
AJ in another ‘nice soot’, white this time. And still she skipped..

John Cena doing the ‘Bolt’! Always thought he was an Olympics fan..

Punk and Mysterio facing off, just like old times.

Wade Barrett video package…..bringing a bit of Lancashire grit back to the Fed.

Alberto Del Rio in just his shirt and trunks. Nice legs.

Sheamus shooting off in ‘Bertie’s black F430 Spider to ‘sightsee’.

Randy Orton doing a ‘bitch, please’ face when Big Show came down.

Sandow kicking the absolute shit out of Brodus.

Ugh. Lats week it was Orton. This week…I can’t even bring myself to write the screaming bimbo’s name. No wonder Eve kept trying to leave the ring.

Muscle M-A-Ry! GETTING A WIN??

Jericho on commentary in Dolph’s pink tee, looking FRUITY as anything!

Dolph finally got a chance to re-bleach his badger-hair then!

Sheamus shoving a burrito down his neck and all over the leather of the F430’s seats.

A trashed F430 - smoking, covered in mud, food and foliage.

DB almost breaking down at the ‘YES’ chants in the centre of the ring.

WWE Miracles and Mysteries
When did Punk, king of all that is alternative and against the grain, become such a Mizlike whiny diva bitch??

Is anyone surprised that half the roster is lining up to slime all over AJ?

I, like any Diva fan was glad they got more than 30 seconds on Raw to do something but…duh.

When was A-Ry’s last win on Raw? Some time in 2011?

I was amazed, and thankful, that AW spared us a horrible joke regarding the noticeably absent Rosa [due to real-life stuff] during the PTP/Epico & Primo match.



Dashing Jet Black


Elstro. 25. Cambridge, England.

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