RAW 24/9/12 - Awards
Top Dog of the Week
Mae Young. Sometimes just fifteen seconds is all it takes to make an episode and the gorgeous grandmother of grappling did just that with her show-stealing line.
AJ realised that Heyman was trying to stitch her up like a kipper and walloping the ponytailed slimebag had me holding up a perfect 10. She might be several cans short of a six-pack but she’s got the parasite’s number allright.
Kiddies’ favourite John Cena gets a mention for delivering a literal pipebomb to whiny shit Punk.
Twatting Twat of the Week
Paul Heyman for thinking he can mess with AJ. His beatdown in an LBD-n-stiletto-clad Stephanie clearly taught him nothing.
Weedy Pigeon of the Week
Beth Phoenix. Made a scapegoat by the conniving Eve.
Spin Doctor of the Week
Eve Torries again. She managed to deflect all the blame for attacking Kaitlyn by picking a blonde-haired partner whom she then promptly turned on.
Worst Girl of the Week
Punk is getting more and more big-headed and big mouthed as the weeks drag on. Anyone is fair game - legends, officials, his boss….he certainly has a weird idea of what respect entails.
Best Line of the Week
AJ: [To Heyman]: Who the hell do you think you are? [At last! Some authority!]
AJ: I will see to it personally that you will never work in this business again. [Power looks great on her even when she was on the edge]
Mick Foley: Will you be a Kool-Aid drinker?
Mick Foley: Not one day in 14 years have I had to ASK people for respect…!
Ryback [when pinning Miz] Go swim with the fish! [Yeah, the Codfish….]
DB: YES! YEEEEEESS! YEEEEEESSSS!!!! [complete with panting…..]
Mae Young: I’ll have what they’re having!
Kane [while DB vomits copiouly in Dr Shelby’s lap] Check please!
John Cena: I did everything I could to keep that PG tonight.
CM Punk: Because you get countless title shot after title shot, and it’s unfair to those guys in the back. [Even the spoilt brat can speak sense sometimes]
John Cena: REAL MEN WEAR PINK!
Worst Line of the Week
Brad Maddox’s grovelling speech to Heyman and PUnk. Grow some bollocks, man!
Punk and his spoilt-brat, bully-boy attitude was runneth over this week:
CM Punk: I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU FEEL! You embarrassed the WWE CHampion on MY SHOW. [Put a sock in it.]
CM Punk: You’re the buffoon who got hired by the idiotic General Manager?
CM Punk: I will forget the 1000s of texts and emails that are unsuitable for the USA Network to air….
CM Punk: I am the reason there is a skip in your walk.
CM Punk: SHOW SOME RESPECT YOU JERKS!
CM Punk: COME OUT HERE, I’ll give you a microphone and shove it down your throat.
CM Punk [to Mick FOley]: YOU are beneath me. [Surprise you can fit through doorways with your big head]
Paul Heyman: MARRY ME AJ! [I know she looks young for her age, but she’s too old for you.]
Paul Heyman: I like ‘em young, dumb and ambitious! [Pass the bucket]
Warring Faction of the Week
CM Punk and anyone not named Paul Heyman.
Sight of the Week
An abrupt opening…Punk sat in the centre of the ring, pouting like a spoilt teenage girl, Heyman speaking on his behalf.
AJ sporting the Converse All-Stars look this week….mind you her getup this week made her look like a St. Trinian’s girl.
Heyman gettng down on one knee to ‘propose’…..and then receiving a boot to the greasy head for talking down to the GM.
Jim Ross on commentary!
Vickie getting lemonade chucked in her face. She was not happy.
Kofi going for a rope-flip and landing on his feet.
Kane in an apron as DB and Dr Shelby’s WAITER??
The old lady who discovered that the croutons on her Caesar salad weren’t bread…
Mick Foley is always a nice surprise.
DB and Kane discussing their reign over lunch. Didn’t know Kane was partial to Spaghetti ad Meatballs.
DB having a Harry met Sally moment…complete with Mae Young to deliver the coup de grace.
Ricardo was having a right old go wasn’t he?
DB tentatively nibbling a meatball…….and then puking on Dr. Shelby.
A wild Coddles appeared!
Damien Sandow sporting his new merchandise tee.
Kaitlyn hobbling out..
Beth looking decidedly shifty throughout the whole match.
John Cena clobbering Punk with a lead pipe……I know it’s the kiddie’s favourite but you can’t deny the whiny brat had it coming!
Punk booting Mick Foley like the cowardly little shit he is, only to be confronted by a seething Ryback and promptly cacking a load in his trunks….and thereith ended the show.
WWE Miracles and Mysteries
Why is Heyman picking off referees? Last week Chad Patton, this week Brad Maddox. Is Charles “The hair” Robinson up for the treatment next week then?
Why it was necessary to show the picture of Jerry Lawler being resuscitated. It wasn’t acted so it was in bad taste in my opinion.
Ricardo’s certainly grown a pair since his last in ring bout where he got his arse kicked by both Layla and Santino. Now he’s getting stuck in there with veteran luchadors and the brutal Sheamus.
What’s going on with the ladies? Layla teaming with someone she beat up twice…..Beth teaming with the woman who beat her last week…also if Kaitlyn’s attacker was blonde, why was she addressing Eve?
Dashing Jet Black
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And yes, I am a WWE fan and will post about it. Get the feck over it. I'm well aware it's scripted and has elements of performance art. The clue is in the title - sports ENTERTAINMENT.
